1.
HI, Allison.
I understand that you felt upset about Ken’s responsibly, it is same as my feeling too. I think we should schedule a time and talk to each other. That is the best way to solve the problem. As you know, he always did not take serious on our project. However, I believe that he may be not understood how the project is important to us. We should show him how much responsibility he should take. We also can make a plan for him and for us. For example, if he cannot make the meeting, he could e-mail us some material or information before the meeting date. Then it will not have a time conflict to each other. Also, we should call him before the meeting date and prepare be prepare for the material.
HioWai Song
2.
Dear Ms.Larson
Allison and I having trouble with the project, one of our teammate did not take a responsibility on it. Whose name is Ken, and he did take serious on our meeting schedule. Once he was late during the meeting and never prepare for it. Allison and I were frustrated. He did sent Allison e-mail that he cannot make the time; however the mail was couple hour ago before the meeting. As the due day is coming soon, we still did not get the problem solve. We hope you understand this situation and give us a call.
Sincerely,
HioWai Song
Reminder for Final
16 years ago
Skel,
ReplyDeleteIn #1, the tone of your e-mail is a bit self-important towards Allison and you! There is too much projection of what kind of value Ken puts into the job, and also how much emotional value the project has for you and Allison.
Don't assume he doesn't care about the project. You don't want to "throw" that kind of language around, even in an e-mail. Rather, focus on the facts -- that he's not doing what he is supposed to, for whatever his reasons. Perhaps he's just bad at managing his time and he's got too many responsibilities.
This is in response to such language as, "he always did not take serious on our project. However, I believe that he may be not understood how the project is important to us." As I stated above, don't make it a contest about what the project means to any of you. It's your job, so the language shouldn't be focused on you or Allison, but on the job --and how he is not fulfilling it.
Also, there is no way you can "show" Ken his responsibility. You can't force anything on anyone! But, the end of the e-mail, is much clearer and stronger of a direction. The focus shifts to how to create a plan to work with Ken, which is what you want to do in such instances--make a plan for how to work with each other.
In #2, grammar issues are distracting, and then also avoid past tense in current frustrations: "Allison and I were frustrated." No, it is not "were" but "are". You wouldn't tell your boss about past problems, so make sure the language more clearly points out the issues. Finally, make sure to ask for her assistance, rather than just "give us a call."
grade: 10/15